Yamis Anniversary story

Well. Guess what. I forgot to take into account Time Zones so I have no  damn Idea if this is still a legit entry or not. If not just delete the Topic. Anyways just a fun story I wrote "on a fly". Basically a rather wacky day or the charmers. And yes I am a HUGE supporter of HiitaXEria. Also i claim that everything in here is based on my sick fuck of a mind so have fun seeing my insanity.

Also its basically a report from Doriado, which is why its from her point of view.

I wish a Happy Anniversary everyone!


Doriados Anniversary


Everything that is part of nature itself, is part of a certain order. The planetary cycle is made of 365 days, a week got 7 Days and even the worlds rotation can be measured to almost exact 24 hours. Another part that follows a certain order is the concept of the elements. Fire and Water, Wind and Earth, Light and Darkness. Without the existence of the opposite, each element in itself is worthless. That is the reason why I, the mistress of the Elements, have to keep these 6 elements withing a certain balance.

This dates the 5th year of my pupils quest to become Charmers, beings that control the elements, govern over the balance of the world.

I had to be careful about how to show myself in front of them. Too lenient and they would become lazy and incapable of controlling themselves. Too strict though and they would become slaves to the world itself. I was not going to repeat my past mistakes. So I simply opened the door to the Main Hall while still in thought, eyes closed to increase my concentration.

“I hope all of you finished their research on the human worlds science of chemistry. Knowing the components of what you control is one of many things that make up the core of your powers.” I said while walking towards the table in the back of the Main Hall. At this time Aussa usually would have started explaining the differences between the human chemistry works and how it would work in the spirit world. That did not apply today.

Oh no they did not.... I thought, turned around and opened my eyes.

The room was empty. Except for a few books lying around, nothing was here. All 6 of them skipped class. Usually I would be enraged about such a display of disrespect, but I had to praise their teamwork, as they even managed to convince Aussa to stay away. Also, as it was our 5th anniversary, I suppose letting it slip this once was an acceptable choice.

So I decided to at least take the books back into the library.


~~~Basement~~~
“Do really think that it won't blow up again?” Dharc asked the engineering Aussa while she was working on a huge, pillar like object.

“Dharc, I would advise you to remember that it is your fault that we need to use the Interdimensional Matter Transporter. I mean yes you did well in building the stage but without it we have no way of getting it out of here.” Aussa said without even really paying attention.

“Well we could call Hiita flat chested and make her blow a hole through the wall.” Dharc said with a mischievous grin on his face.

“To dangerous. Doriado would notice it and that would destroy everything.” Aussa said while screwing around and programming the Transporter.

“You never let me have my fun” Dharc said, pouting.

“That is because you are a colossal jerkass. Now shut up or I will test my little machine on you first.” Aussa threatened Dharc, again without even paying attention.

“As you wish, Lady Bigrack”

~~~Sleeping Quarters~~~
“Aussa and Dharc are preparing their little project. How are you coming along?” Eria asked Hiita, who was alternating between reading some kind of book and typing something into the machine Aussa handed to her.

“Can't talk. Have to program....” Hiita said while obviously trying not to tick out.

“Maybe I should give it a try?” Eria asked. She was amused by how Hiita tried to make the machine work but was also aware of her... “skills” with machines. And she stopped for a moment.

“You could try to keep Doriado busy. I don't know if my little surprise in the library will distract her for long.” Hiita said and continued with her on-the-spot improvised programming.

“I will think of something. Good Luck then” Eria said and left.


~~~Library~~~

Once I entered the library I could not help but panic a little. The entire collection of books has been misplaced. Physics in the Chemistry section, History in the Theoretic future section, Romance into the Science-Fiction section! It felt like anarchy took hold of my beloved library. It would take at least a few hours to reorganize everything all by myself. Instead of screaming in rage though, I decided to get myself some help.

“Beings that absorb the elements. Knights of Light and Darkness, heed my call and follow my commands! I summon you, Element Magician and Element Valkyrie!” I recited and 2 magic circles appeared in front of me. Only to disappear a second later without any effect.

“....I guess they took the day off as well.” I said, mostly because I had no serious idea about why it did not work. So I went out of the library in direction of the basement to get one of Aussas automatons. What I did not know was that Eria hid behind one of the shelves, with her Barrier Statue of Torrent in hand.

“I love you my little Barrier Statue” she said and cuddled the statue, only to leave the library as well once I was out of sight.


~~~Basement....again~~~

Aussa was still calibrating the transporter while Dharc watched without doing anything.

“The programming is done. Dharc I need you hold the transporter still while I enter the coordinates.”

“Why don't you enter the coordinates before it charges up?” Dharc asked and Aussa left out a sigh.

“While I could explain to you why, I will just tell you that you are hormone-plagued young man that needs to finally move his behinds and do something.” Aussa said, obviously pissed off at Dharc who backed off a little.

“Ok, Ok I do it. Just don't punch me through a wall again.” Dharc said and tried to find a place to grab onto the Transporter.

“Ok hold it tight. One of my alarms just notified me that Doriado is on her way. You hold it like this, everything else will happen automatically. I will keep her busy until it is done firing.” Aussa explained and left Dharc without paying attention to him. Again.

She was capable of catch Doriado right on top of the stairs to the basement.

“Oh Aussa. Where have you been? And where are the others?” I asked her.

“Hiita and Eria are 'studying' together as far as I know, Dharc is probably down on the mainland. Wynn said that the Harpies are behaving strangely so she left to investigate. And Lyna... well no one knows what Lyna does.” Aussa answered, with the same deadpan delivery like everything she says.

“True, not even I can read that girl” I admitted but then remembered why I went down there in the first place.

“You do not happen to have a usable Automaton down there? Someone painted 'Anarchy' all over the library.” I said and made sure to become slightly louder to make it sound more urgent.

“Wait here, I get one.” Aussa said without a second thought and went downstairs. Then there was a flash and a crashing sound. The transport was successful. As I did not know what they were doing at the time though, I went downstairs as well.

“What was that noise?” I called out, although it took Aussa some seconds to answer.

“You stay in here until Doriado and have left, you got that?” Aussa ordered Dharc,trying to whisper to the best of her capabilties. She then, without even listening to Dharc, stuffed him into a closet. I entered the basement a few seconds later.

“Nothing happened, just a malfunction.” Aussa said and went to one of her robots.

“This one should work properly though.” she said and activated a purple robot with a huge cannon on its shoulder.

“Why does it have a cannon?” I asked in disbelief but chose not to tell her to destroy it.

“I absolutely hate spiders” Aussa said and the robot went upstairs by itself.

“It is on its way to the library. Once their you can tell it what to do.” Aussa said and we both left the basement. I closed the door and locked it.

“Why do you always lock the basement, Lady Doriado?” Aussa asked. There was a slightly nervous tone in her voice but I did not really think about it.

“I truly dislike giant rats.”


~~~Outside~~~
Wynn and Lyna were on the Mainland, just below the Sanctuary, walking through the city.

“Wynn~? Why do we have to find this guitar-loving numb-nut??” Lyna asked in her childish, far too loud voice.
“His music is.... fabulous” Wynn answered while carrying a huge backpack. Whatever was in there, it had to be just as huge.

“But he is always mean to me and Hiita and always sticks out his tongue while playing his guitar and he does not wear a shirt and he-” Lyna started objecting but then walked right into Wynn, who stopped in front of a bar.

“...Stay here” Wynn said and entered alone.

~~~Sleeping Quarters~~~
“Phew... I think I'm done.” Hiita said as Eria returned to her room.

“I think I am done Eria” Hiita said again and threw away the book.

“Good to hear. Then shall we proceed to the next step?” Eria asked but Hiita seemed kinda uneasy.

“Well... wouldn't it be a better idea if we test it first? I mean I don't doubt that I did a great job on this but...” she said and it was clear that she had no idea if she did anything right on that machine.

“Maybe you are right.” Eria said, although Hiita seemed to have taken it the wrong way.

“Ok then, lets try it out” Hiita said and pushed the button. The Machine started to make screeching noises.

“Not here you.... oooh no I think you screwed up this time.” Eria said as the machine started to smoke.

“Aaaargh f*ck this machine!”


~~~Back to the library!~~~
Doriado and the robot finally arrived at the library.

“I am sorry to say this but my knowledge about automatons like you is rather limited. So I ask you, can you read?” I asked in the hope that the Automaton could understand me.

“Affirmative.”

“Well then. You will take the right side, I will take the left. We will return order to this vandalized picture of anarchy!” I proclaimed but were once again forced to halt the progress of the library cleaning. This time around because I heard a great amount of noise from the sleeping quarters.

“Sir Robot, I would like you to start without me. I have to look for that noise.” I said and made my way to the sleeping Quarters. Once I arrived there, the noise disappeared. Hiita stormed out of her room and locked the door. It took a few seconds for her to notice me.

“Oh my- Oh Lady Doriado, h-how are you doing?” Hiita asked and it was obvious that my appearance was not within her expectations. I also noticed her heavy breathing.

“...Am I right in my assumption that you, once again, blew something up?” I asked

“Well you know how it is, blowing something is a subjective topic, especially when it was not even me but everyone thinks it was me and-” she started but was interrupted by Erias voice that came from her room.

“Hiita <3?” she asked with an exhausted, flirty voice.

“It would be truly delightful if you would move your behinds in here and end what you started <3” she said and Hiitas face made clear that she did not want anyone to hear that. I decided to jst leave without a comment.

“W-w-wait Lady Doriado, I can explain!!” Hiita said but I just walked away and left one last sentence

“Do not worry Hiita, there is nothing wrong about that.” I said and made my way back to the library once again.


~~~Mainland~~~
Wynn came out of the bar with a shirtless, blonde man holding a guitar.

“His band will follow” Wynn said.

“...Childish little brat.” the Musician King said, looking at Lyna.

“Perverted numb-nut!” yna answered.

“Why the hell did I agree to this?” the Musician King asked, locking eyes with Lyna to the point where one could barely see the lightning between them. Wynns answer was a tuning fork.

“Ouch yeah.... That sound hurts” the Musician King said.

“Now stay quiet. Both of you” Wynn said. Despite her calm way of talking , it was clear to both King and Lyna that she was serious.

“'k” both of them said and they departed  to just outside of the village..

“Lyna, you summon.”


~~Outside the Sanctuary~~~
Aussa was standing below the Window to Hiitas Room in the Sleeping Quarters. She hit the bottom of her staff on the ground and she was carried upwards by a stone pillar, high enough to comfortably look through the window. She found a mostly burned down room.

“Let me guess. She f*cked up?” Aussa asked and Eria, who was still trying to get the ash off her clothes, nodded.

“Very much so. But I already taught her a lesson.” she answered and gave Aussa the machine.

“Did you do your usual routine?” Aussa aked while inspecting the machine. No damage, just a bit dirty. Also she needed to load some more explosives.

“Her closet was always transparent like rain. But now it was torn down like a house by a tsunami.” Eria said and started giggling, hiding her face behind her sleeve.

“I thought Hiita had a crush on Dharc.” Aussa answered without paying much attention, being more focused on her machine and all.

“I reject her reality and substitute my own” Eria answered, less amused.

“Well whichever way you two swing, I will just keep Hiita away from my machines from now on. And you get ready, Wynn and Lyna should already be on their way.” Aussa said and the stone pillar started to sink back underground.

Hiita now reentered the room, visibly embarrassed and angry.

“Eria how often do I have to tell you that this is not funny? I am F*CKING STRAIGHT! Do I have to tell you with a megaphone or something?!” Hiita said, loud enough that Aussa could still hear it.

“Oh dear, if you insist. Ok you are straight.” Eria admitted. And turned around.

“Straight like a rainbow” she muttered while leaving Hiitas room.

Aussa went back into the Sanctuary, where she managed to sneak around until she reached the roof, where she positioned the disastrous machine and started reprogramming it.


Around 3 Hours later

~~~Library~~~
“Well that took long enough.” I said while observing my work. Everything was back in order, like it was supposed to.

“Thank you, Sir Automaton. Your help for the past 3 hours is appreciated.” I said and the robot bowed for a second before he just left without another word.

Now that everything is done I might as well enjoy a few glasses on the mainland. ^.^ I thought and went to the main gate. When I finally entered the outside world.... I did not know what I was supposed to feel. In front of the main gate, there was an entire stage, similar to those used by some sort of musical band. Speakers, microphones, cables everywhere that lead from the machines to... I did not even know where those cables lead. But it was a truly astounding experience to see something like this up close.

“Wait a second.” I said to myself. Who build this? And more important WHY is it standing here.

“Seems like we were to late” a voice behind me said. Eria and Hiita were standing behind me.

“We wanted to keep you in the library until we finished setting everything up.” Hiita admitted. So that... moment was only a show.

“Aaah, there they are.” Hiita said and pointed at the sky. A dragon, Hyozanryu, and a giant bird, Simorgh as well as around 20 harpies were closing in on the sanctuary and landed next to the stage afterwards. And then the Musician King and his band jumped down from the giant crystal dragon.

“...Jackson is that you?” I asked and the Musician King took out his Guitar.
“The one and only baby! And let me tell you I got a something awesome in store for all of you!” the Musician King said and Wynn unpacked everything she bought from the vilage.

“Catering is taken care of. Happy 5th Anniversary Lady Doriado. I hope you have nothing against my friends.” Wynn said while the harpies were waiting for the Music to start.

“So you DID think about it.” I answered, honestly baffled. Should I for once forgoe my face of the mistress or should I let everything go its way for once?

“But before we start.” Eria said and turned around, waving her hands. Aussa and her machine were on the rooftop and she activated it, firing rockets into the air. Hundreds of them. They exploded far away in the sky, creating the symbols of the Elements. Over and over again.

“That is just...” I was at a loss of words.

“Thank you everyone. I will overlook you missing your studies today.” I said instead

“Ok Jackson, turn it up and rock!” I said to my old companion, ignoring that this would seem out of character in front of my students.

“Ok guys let's ROCK!” the King said and the band started playing. The harpies started dancing to it out of sheer excitement.

“Good job you 6 at keeping me busy over the day.” I said while looking at Hiita and Eria.

“Well it was hard enough. Especially hiding Dharcs handmade stage there. Speaking of Dharc, where the hell is that skirt-chaser?” Hiita  asked looking around.


~~~Basement~~~
Dharc has been trying to bust open the door over the last few hours but to no avail.

“Why...?” he asked while still  ramming against the door over and over.

“YOU MORONS CAN'T PARTY WITHOUT MEEEE~!!! QQ!”

Okay, now that voting is over, I'm gonna give my thoughts about your story.

I really did think it was hilarious; you have a knack of putting your characters in circumstances where you can't help but laugh at their antics. Yet despite all the humour, you still manage to keep the reader in suspense, which is great. And of course, the ending was the best. It took me a second, and then I just died. I don't care if it's been used before; it's still one of the funniest ways to end something as silly as this.

My only beef with this was some of the language you used. No, I'm not talking only about swear words (although I feel you did force it a bit in places). I'm mainly talking about some of the colloquialisms... some of them sounded a bit corny to me. Like for instance, when Eria said "if you could move your behinds in here", this could have been worded differently and it would have been more effective, at least imo. In comedy, the words you use are key, and if you try to go over the top with your word choice, the piece starts to lose its flow, and thus become unfunny.

You're a better writer than you think, Yami, so keep on writing!